When "Because I said So!" Doesn't Work

When “Because I said So!” Doesn’t Work
A child asks “why?”  and we give the parental answer that has stood the test of time.  Our parents said it, our grandparents said it, and (at least in my case) our great grandparents said it.  We’ve all heard it, and most likely we’ve all said it -at least once.  You know it well…“Because I said so!”  After saying it, our assumption is that one thing is clearly understood- no more questions!  And here, my fellow parents, in lies the problem. 

(Pause for thought)  Now, you may be thinking…wait a cotton-pickin’ minute…I want my kids to obey with no questions.  Sometimes they don’t get to ask why I tell them something- they just have to trust me and do it.  Isn’t that what first time obedience is all about? 

I get it.  We all want obedient and polite children. So, let me make one thing clear- I’m not talking about when you yell “STOP” as they start to cross the street without looking.  There is no time for them to ask why nor for you to explain.  This is something altogether different…hang with me.

“When ‘because I said so’ doesn’t work” is not about obedience, it’s about questions, and more importantly finding the answers to those questions. 

Simple example- when my kids were little I taught them to take their shoes off as soon as we walked in the door.  They were taught early on that once they removed those shoes, they went in a basket near the door that we entered and exited through every time we came and left our home.  One day my three year old asked why we had to do that.  In my haste to avoid another string of “whys” – I said it- “because I said so.”  I could just as easily taken the time to explain my reasoning- that it helped us find our shoes quickly, while also helping mom keep the floors a little cleaner.  So…one day, when I left our house with no shoes myself, he reminded me of the shoe basket and why (he thought) we used it.  “Mom- your shoes got lost ‘cuz they weren’t in the basket!” (The master had become the student) 

Now this seems like a silly example, but realistically he answered his own question through ‘study’ and experience. Isn’t this the best way to learn anything?  As babies, we let our children (where safe) put things in their mouths, and we want them to touch and feel everything possible. As they get older, we know better than to do our kids’ homework for them. We’re tempted sometimes, but we know if we did it, they would never learn it for themselves.  We welcome our children’s use of imagination and experiments to learn about the world around them.  Seriously, if your child said, “Why does 2+2=4?”- you would not answer with “because I said so!”  Most likely, you’d show them, and then encourage them to test it for themselves.

Okay…you get it, ‘because I said so’ doesn’t work in all situations.  Here is my challenge…why do we think it works in the area of Spiritual growth?  We are great at giving our children information about the Lord and the Truth of His Word.  We read to them, we talk to them, we pray with them.  For any child of a parent who is following the Lord and wants their kids to do the same, there is no lack of information.  But what about the questions? 

As adults we don’t know all there is to know about God; we have questions, we have doubts, there are things we don’t understand. If we feel this way, can you just imagine how our children feel?  Our children can’t come to know the Lord “because we said so”- they have to know Him for themselves.

We have to leave room for them to study and experience God and His Word for themselves.  We have to leave room for them to ask questions, and even to doubt.  Then…here’s the really tough part- we have to be willing to say that we don’t have all the answers, but we know the One who does. 

We may be tempted to say “because I said so” this week…or even today.  Okay...but make it about shoe baskets, eating green peas, or not hitting your sister, but not about Who God is.  Sometimes “because I said so” is not only a really bad answer- it’s a dangerous one. 

This Week’s Announcements:
Baby Dedication Orientation – Tuesday, September 16th; 6:30-7:30pm
If you have (or will have) a child aged 3months-2 years old between now and March, 2015, and would like to publically dedicate him/her to the Lord, this orientation is for you.  Parents wishing to participate in a baby dedication for their child at StoneBridge should attend one of our Baby Dedication Orientation sessions.  These sessions will be held twice a year.  September’s orientation is open to parents who wish to dedicate their baby before our next session in March.  Please sign up by emailing me at penny@stonebridgemarietta.org Childcare during the orientation will be provided with reservations. 

Help still needed!
We are so blessed to have more than 80(!) volunteers who said YES to serving your children.
Even with that incredible number, we are still in need of help in certain rooms/areas. 
Our specific needs are:
An adult male to lead 3rd-5th grade boys as a small group leader at 9am
Nursery help at 9am and 11am 

What God is Teaching Us:
This section will have links to the previous Sunday’s lessons.  Feel free (I encourage it!) to open, read, and review with your children.  Click on the links below to view our lessons from 9/14/2014. 
This link is no longer available

Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
Few things are funnier or cuter than when a child calls something by the wrong name.  What’s even cuter is when what they call it actually makes sense when we see it from their perspective.  A few I’ve heard lately: Lego instruction books being called “the constructions” and binoculars being called “my close up glasses.”  My favorite has to be when a child was describing something crazy.  She spun her pointed index finger at the side of her head (making the universal sign for crazy), but then said, “That is roundy!”