When our children are little they fear that we may leave them. As parents we don’t understand this idea of separation anxiety because we know that we would never leave our children- at least not forever. In their little minds and hearts a minute can seem like an hour, and an hour…well, that’s forever.
The season of this anxiety is daunting to us as we dread the tears, the clinging arms, and the fear we see in their little faces. But again, we know they really have nothing to fear so we walk away- a little heartbroken, maybe with even a little guilt, only to be assured when we return that they still love us- despite our leaving them.
Then the rubber band of time snaps and we are suddenly the ones afraid. When the word after the number 12 is no longer months, but years, we begin to fear they will leave us. As the 12 grows closer to 18 and beyond, we are the ones shedding tears and hanging on with clingy arms. What if they don’t need us anymore? What if they go away to college and never call? What if they move away after college and never visit? What if…they leave us?
Then once again, the rubber band of time snaps, and we find that we are needed not so much (at least for now) by our kids, but by our own parents. Suddenly, we are needed and afraid; fearful again that our parents may leave us.
This Thanksgiving week, I had the great privilege of spending time with my mom on her birthday- which just happened to be Thanksgiving Day too. My mom turned 71 this week, and is thankfully in great health. We are able to do all the mom/daughter things that we want, but it occurred to me this week that she needs me as much as I need her. It also occurred to me that I am ever so slightly fearful that she’ll leave me.
One of the many things we enjoyed this week was a lunch with some old friends. Imagine the other parents you hang out with now- forty years later…this was our lunch. My parents enjoyed great and lasting friendships with two other couples when we were growing up. All the boys played sports together, all the dads coached those boys, all the moms were team moms and scorekeepers, and all the sisters…well, we lived at the ball field with our families, occasionally working as batgirls and in the concession stand. So, these folks from so long ago, minus two of the men (one being my dad) who have passed away, got together for lunch. Besides being older, it was like we hadn’t missed a beat.
This is where I saw firsthand the snapping of that rubber band. One mom is in poor health, and even as the daughter and this mom joked about her loss of hearing and memory, what I saw was that they needed each other. I saw a daughter that is just slightly fearful of her mom leaving her. Another daughter ordered for her mom, and took care of her ailing father. They needed each other, and there was a slight undertone of that fear of being left.
We all live in this place of shifting time, changing roles, and snapping rubber bands. We cried as children when our parents left us, our kids cry when we leave them, we will cry when our children leave us, and then we’re right back where we started…beginning to fear that our parents will leave us. I guess the best we can do in any and all of these situations is to make the most of the time we have, loving with all we’ve got, saying the things we need to say, assuring each other that nothing is forever- even the leaving part.
One last reassuring thought came to mind...maybe the rubber bands don't snap, but instead stretch as they are made to do. We're constantly pulling it, but thankfully someone else on that rubber band with us is pulling too. We may stretch away for a time, those we love may stretch away for a time, but we are all pulled back in as well. So, until the rubber band stretches again, I’m going to tell those I love how much I love them, and then hang on tight for as long as I can.
This Week’s Announcements:
The Giving Tree- Don’t forget to pull an ornament (or two) from the giving tree in the church lobby. This tree will list needed items for Park Street Elementary, MUST Ministries, and Cobb Pregnancy Center. All items should be dropped off at the church by December 22nd. No need to wrap anything- just place the ornament you pulled from the tree back on the item.
Christmas Eve Services- We will have two services this year. The first one, at 4pm, will be family friendly, multi-sensory, and interactive. Worship at this service will be led by our Youth Ministry Worship team and they are amazing! So…for a fun, BUT MEANINGFUL Christmas Eve experience, join us at 4pm. If the more traditional is your style, come to the second service at 6pm.
What God is Teaching Us:
Follow the link below to see this past Sunday’s curriculum:
This link is no longer available
Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
On the Sunday prior to thanksgiving, we spent a lot of time talking about what we’re thankful for, and how to have an attitude of gratitude. In doing so, we played a game with the alphabet. Contestants had to yell out something they were thankful for that began with the randomly drawn letter of the alphabet. They had to be quicker to yell out an answer than their opponent. In a rush to be first, one girl- when seeing the letter “O”- yelled out, “Oprah!”
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Hey, mom…watch this!” These are words that as parents we’ve all heard. Our kids love to know we’re watching. They want to know that we’re paying attention.
At the varying stages in a child’s life, our paying attention looks very different. When they are infants, we’re paying attention to all the nonverbal cues our children give us like crying, laughing, and making faces. As they get a little older, the “watch this” or “watch me” phase starts. This phase lasts awhile, and then we hit a wall.
Suddenly our kids aren’t yelling across the playground anymore for us to watch them. We discover that it’s not us they want watching, it’s their friends. We find ourselves reverting back to picking up on some of those nonverbal cues. (Sadly, crying is many times involved again)
This is not to say that our kids never talk to us. Prayerfully just the opposite is true. It does mean that we have to pay attention even when they aren’t asking us to do it. They aren’t yelling “watch me” but they still need us- and I think want us- to pay attention. Even the child who is taller than you needs a hug, an encouraging word, anything that says, “I’m watching.”
This week a friend of mine sent me one of those circulating stories called “The Brick.” In the story, a young boy threw a brick into the road, hitting a man’s brand new car. The furious man got out of his car and asked the crying child why in the world he had done such a stupid thing. The boy told him it was the only way to get someone to pay attention and stop. His older brother, confined to a wheelchair, had fallen. He, being smaller and not strong enough, couldn’t get his brother back into his wheelchair. The story ends with the man tearfully helping the boy and never fixing the dent in his car. He wanted to remember to pay attention long before someone had to throw a brick at him.
This story is a good reminder- not only as a parent, but as a daughter to the King. I want God to see me, to pay attention. The amazing thing is I never have to yell, “watch me” for Him to do it. But…is the reverse true? Am I always watching for God’s hand, am I paying attention to the many ways He blesses and provides for me, am I anticipating His move in, through, and around me? God certainly shouldn’t have to say “watch me” or “pay attention.”
As children we don’t have to throw bricks to have our Heavenly Father pay attention. As parents we don’t want our kids throwing bricks to get our attention. Yes…we all have lots of moving pieces and balls to juggle in our everyday lives. Sometimes the “watch me” seems like an inconvenience. But…consider this, God has much more to attend to, but He watches anyway.
Psalm 121: “I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you-the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
This Week’s Announcements:
Family Dinner! Come enjoy a good old fashioned potluck dinner with your StoneBridge Family. Children in 4k-5th grade will be served pizza in 164 before going to childcare. There will also be childcare or 3k and under, but you will need to feed them dinner beforehand. *Please note: Registration for childcare closes on Monday, November 18th! Without a reservation, childcare is not guaranteed and may not be available for your children.* Go to www.signupgenius.com and search under Kim Kremer’s email kim@stonebridgemarietta.org to sign up for a main dish, side dish, or dessert, as well as childcare.
What God is Teaching Us:
Follow the link below to see this past Sunday’s curriculum:
This link is no longer available
Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
The children are signing our “thankful” board each Sunday morning. Upon reading some of the entries, it became evident that conjunctions and punctuation do make a difference. One entry read, “I’m thankful for my brother the dog.”
At the varying stages in a child’s life, our paying attention looks very different. When they are infants, we’re paying attention to all the nonverbal cues our children give us like crying, laughing, and making faces. As they get a little older, the “watch this” or “watch me” phase starts. This phase lasts awhile, and then we hit a wall.
Suddenly our kids aren’t yelling across the playground anymore for us to watch them. We discover that it’s not us they want watching, it’s their friends. We find ourselves reverting back to picking up on some of those nonverbal cues. (Sadly, crying is many times involved again)
This is not to say that our kids never talk to us. Prayerfully just the opposite is true. It does mean that we have to pay attention even when they aren’t asking us to do it. They aren’t yelling “watch me” but they still need us- and I think want us- to pay attention. Even the child who is taller than you needs a hug, an encouraging word, anything that says, “I’m watching.”
This week a friend of mine sent me one of those circulating stories called “The Brick.” In the story, a young boy threw a brick into the road, hitting a man’s brand new car. The furious man got out of his car and asked the crying child why in the world he had done such a stupid thing. The boy told him it was the only way to get someone to pay attention and stop. His older brother, confined to a wheelchair, had fallen. He, being smaller and not strong enough, couldn’t get his brother back into his wheelchair. The story ends with the man tearfully helping the boy and never fixing the dent in his car. He wanted to remember to pay attention long before someone had to throw a brick at him.
This story is a good reminder- not only as a parent, but as a daughter to the King. I want God to see me, to pay attention. The amazing thing is I never have to yell, “watch me” for Him to do it. But…is the reverse true? Am I always watching for God’s hand, am I paying attention to the many ways He blesses and provides for me, am I anticipating His move in, through, and around me? God certainly shouldn’t have to say “watch me” or “pay attention.”
As children we don’t have to throw bricks to have our Heavenly Father pay attention. As parents we don’t want our kids throwing bricks to get our attention. Yes…we all have lots of moving pieces and balls to juggle in our everyday lives. Sometimes the “watch me” seems like an inconvenience. But…consider this, God has much more to attend to, but He watches anyway.
Psalm 121: “I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you-the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
This Week’s Announcements:
Family Dinner! Come enjoy a good old fashioned potluck dinner with your StoneBridge Family. Children in 4k-5th grade will be served pizza in 164 before going to childcare. There will also be childcare or 3k and under, but you will need to feed them dinner beforehand. *Please note: Registration for childcare closes on Monday, November 18th! Without a reservation, childcare is not guaranteed and may not be available for your children.* Go to www.signupgenius.com and search under Kim Kremer’s email kim@stonebridgemarietta.org to sign up for a main dish, side dish, or dessert, as well as childcare.
What God is Teaching Us:
Follow the link below to see this past Sunday’s curriculum:
This link is no longer available
Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
The children are signing our “thankful” board each Sunday morning. Upon reading some of the entries, it became evident that conjunctions and punctuation do make a difference. One entry read, “I’m thankful for my brother the dog.”
Friday, November 8, 2013
I love surprises, but hate to be surprised. In the last few weeks I’ve had both the terrifying experience of being surprised (startled), and the incredible experience of surprising someone else.
It all started when my 16 year old decided to surprise me. I came home from work one day and he was hidden in my closet. As I walked into my room, he stuck his head out and very simply said, “Hello Mother.” I went ballistic, jumping 3 feet off the ground, screaming, and dare I say it…wetting my pants. (Yes, it’s true). After sometime of complete panic, I calmed down enough to laugh hysterically with him about the whole scene. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Halloween. Deciding to get him back, I hid a 6foot tall Iron Man cardboard cutout in the shower. When my son opened the curtain to get ready for his shower, there stood the intruder, scaring him so badly that he yelled and ran out of the bathroom terrified but also laughing. His exact words were, “That’s not cool, mom!” Another session of gut wrenching laughter ensued.
Surprises can be remarkable, but they can also be the things that terrify us and make us want to run (or wet our pants, I guess).
The kinds of surprises we love to receive are the ones that bring us joy, make us feel loved; the kinds we love to give elicit the same for the receiver. Don’t we love to see our kids’ faces light up when we’ve given them just the right surprise- a trip to see Sesame Street when they are 3 (one of my favorite memories with my boys), the perfect gift they thought they’d never get, a fully prepared Thanksgiving meal delivered to college when they can’t come home (a new idea for my oldest).
But then there are those surprises that aren’t so great. Our child wakes with a dangerously high fever, the school calls to say that our child may have broken an arm on the playground, someone we love is diagnosed with a scary disease, or even the simplest thing like the toilet overflowing can all be surprises we don’t want.
What occurs to me is that life is full of surprises- especially when it comes to our kids. And what also occurs to me is that life would be really boring without them. Yes, we’d all love not to be surprised by the things that scare, frustrate, or make our hearts ache, but if we didn’t have those lows, would we ever really experience the highs?
Think about this…God can sometimes surprise us too. We have an awesome God who shows up even when we’ve forgotten to ask. We have a Father who knows our needs before we put it on the wish list. We have a God who is never surprised by our highs or lows because He is always prepared. Our problems don’t surprise Him, but He can certainly surprise us with how He walks us through them, how He holds our hand, how He works all things – even the really awful things- together for good.
I love surprises and I hate surprises. Even so, I’m glad I am loved by a God that will never cease to be surprising; a God that doesn’t hide in the closet, but instead makes sure He is present when I’m scared, lonely, or just need a friend. He is a God that doesn’t hide from me, but will hold and hide me in the palm of His hand. Maybe it’s not so much that He surprises me, but more that He never ceases to amaze me.
This Week’s Announcements:
Don’t miss our church-wide family Fall Festival and Chili Cook Off this Friday, November 8th. There will be hayrides for the kids (or the kids at heart), hotdogs, games, a bonfire (S’mores, I hope!) and lots of yummy chili to sample. Go to www.signupgenius.com and search under Kim Kremer’s email kim@stonebridgemarietta.org to sign up.
What God is Teaching Us:
Follow the link below to see this past Sunday’s curriculum:
This link is no longer available
Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
When one boy saw his friend being a little ‘lazy’ about playing a game, he tried to correct and entice his friend to participate by saying, “Stop being a bump on a pickle!” (Maybe he knew more about pickles than logs-?)
It all started when my 16 year old decided to surprise me. I came home from work one day and he was hidden in my closet. As I walked into my room, he stuck his head out and very simply said, “Hello Mother.” I went ballistic, jumping 3 feet off the ground, screaming, and dare I say it…wetting my pants. (Yes, it’s true). After sometime of complete panic, I calmed down enough to laugh hysterically with him about the whole scene. Fast forward a couple of weeks to Halloween. Deciding to get him back, I hid a 6foot tall Iron Man cardboard cutout in the shower. When my son opened the curtain to get ready for his shower, there stood the intruder, scaring him so badly that he yelled and ran out of the bathroom terrified but also laughing. His exact words were, “That’s not cool, mom!” Another session of gut wrenching laughter ensued.
Surprises can be remarkable, but they can also be the things that terrify us and make us want to run (or wet our pants, I guess).
The kinds of surprises we love to receive are the ones that bring us joy, make us feel loved; the kinds we love to give elicit the same for the receiver. Don’t we love to see our kids’ faces light up when we’ve given them just the right surprise- a trip to see Sesame Street when they are 3 (one of my favorite memories with my boys), the perfect gift they thought they’d never get, a fully prepared Thanksgiving meal delivered to college when they can’t come home (a new idea for my oldest).
But then there are those surprises that aren’t so great. Our child wakes with a dangerously high fever, the school calls to say that our child may have broken an arm on the playground, someone we love is diagnosed with a scary disease, or even the simplest thing like the toilet overflowing can all be surprises we don’t want.
What occurs to me is that life is full of surprises- especially when it comes to our kids. And what also occurs to me is that life would be really boring without them. Yes, we’d all love not to be surprised by the things that scare, frustrate, or make our hearts ache, but if we didn’t have those lows, would we ever really experience the highs?
Think about this…God can sometimes surprise us too. We have an awesome God who shows up even when we’ve forgotten to ask. We have a Father who knows our needs before we put it on the wish list. We have a God who is never surprised by our highs or lows because He is always prepared. Our problems don’t surprise Him, but He can certainly surprise us with how He walks us through them, how He holds our hand, how He works all things – even the really awful things- together for good.
I love surprises and I hate surprises. Even so, I’m glad I am loved by a God that will never cease to be surprising; a God that doesn’t hide in the closet, but instead makes sure He is present when I’m scared, lonely, or just need a friend. He is a God that doesn’t hide from me, but will hold and hide me in the palm of His hand. Maybe it’s not so much that He surprises me, but more that He never ceases to amaze me.
This Week’s Announcements:
Don’t miss our church-wide family Fall Festival and Chili Cook Off this Friday, November 8th. There will be hayrides for the kids (or the kids at heart), hotdogs, games, a bonfire (S’mores, I hope!) and lots of yummy chili to sample. Go to www.signupgenius.com and search under Kim Kremer’s email kim@stonebridgemarietta.org to sign up.
What God is Teaching Us:
Follow the link below to see this past Sunday’s curriculum:
This link is no longer available
Funny Things Kids Do and Say…
When one boy saw his friend being a little ‘lazy’ about playing a game, he tried to correct and entice his friend to participate by saying, “Stop being a bump on a pickle!” (Maybe he knew more about pickles than logs-?)
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